Chapt 11: in-class presentation substitution
I feel as though premarital sex makes woman lose a since of their virtues but not their ability to be modest. Does premarital sex make females have less or more modesty? 209

I cannot clearly take position for one view or the other. I do not necessarly believe that virginity is a condition to modesty. Is a virgin necessarily modest? Who can be considered as a virgin? If one is involved in sexual relation without having the hymen broken is this person still a virgin or not? If this same person has different experiences with different guys can the person still be classified as observing sexual modesty? I do not believe that modesty is about premarital abstinence, I think that it is mostly about one’s capacity to respect oneself and have boundaries. I think that modesty is more about making one’s self valuable.
As the example given by Shalit p 209 I have heard a lot of girls expressing regrets to have become sexually active before marriage. But I do believe that the matter is not to have sex before marriage. The matter is: do people have sex because they truly want it or because it is a social pressure? Virginity is no longer perceived as acceptable therefore people engage in sexual relations to conform to the rest of the society. Nobody wants be shown as monster for choosing a more virtuous path. I think that being sexual modest today is more about having clear boundaries about what one considers as correct and acceptable about sexuality and it is also to have a conscious of that it is a serious side of our lives of which we should think about seriously.
yaye