In this chapter, Shalit presents the three stages of a relationship, the hook-up, the dumping, and then the post-dumping checkup. To me, the idea that a relationship can be categorized is a bit unrealistic, but we have to take what she says as verifiable in order to analyze anything.
I don't really disagree with the hook-up and dumping stages of the relationship as she presents them. I do, however, disagree with the post-dumping checkup. Each relationship is its own individual thing and therefore cannot be categorized or generalized. Shalit generalizes the idea that post-dumping checkups are useless and cause more trouble than anything. Although this maybe true for some cases, the degree to which someone should 'checkup' on someone depends on the people and the relationship. I believe that people should try to remain friends after a serious relationship. You shared an intimate part of your life with someone and they helped shape who you are. Therefore, to competely cut out someone who you were with for four years, for example, seems a bit extreme. Although you may not go to the movies or hangout with them on a regular basis, the notion that the two of you are still friends and on good terms is a sign of maturity. It's a bit middle schoolish for someone to no longer continue contact with someone just because the two of them aren't in a serious relationship anymore.
Kristine Jansen
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I believe that most relationships do follow a certain pattern that has been studied over the years and proven to be true. I do agree with Kristine however that each relationship is unique. It may be harder for one couple to remain friends than it is for another couple. It depends on how the relationship was going and how it ended. If the relationship ended on any sort of bad times, for instance a lack of trust, then it may seem impossible to even be friends at all. In some cases, it is better to not be in contact with your former significant other at all. It many cases though, it is better to remain friends afterwards and still be a part of one another's life.
-Bryan Leonardy
In chapter two Shalit develops an argumentation about nowadays relationship patterns. I feel a little bit confused about the way she presented her arguments. Nevertheless The general idea that I got from the chapter is that people should not hang to the past and most of all, girls need to stop being dependent on their ex-boyfriends.
But can keeping in touch with someone we have shared a piece of our life with be interpreted as refusing to move ahead?
After all as we say in french "Apres l'amour ce n'est pas la guerre", in other words when love is gone it is not warr!
So keeping in touch is not necessarily negativ.
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