Chapter 12: A modest conclusion


In this conclusive chapter, Shalit emphasizes the fact that we have entered an era characterized by the end of innocence. I do agree with her, today we do not even try to conserve the youngest's innocence. Sexuality is part of every single moment of our lives. The development of media and new communication technologies widely spread sexual messages even toward children. Today, marketers have included in their marketing strategies, especially in visual ads, the concept of selling sexy goods; from food to razors all make allusions to sex. Innocence is no longer a praised value in nowadays socities.
yaye

Chapt 11: in-class presentation substitution
I feel as though premarital sex makes woman lose a since of their virtues but not their ability to be modest. Does premarital sex make females have less or more modesty? 209

I cannot clearly take position for one view or the other. I do not necessarly believe that virginity is a condition to modesty. Is a virgin necessarily modest? Who can be considered as a virgin? If one is involved in sexual relation without having the hymen broken is this person still a virgin or not? If this same person has different experiences with different guys can the person still be classified as observing sexual modesty? I do not believe that modesty is about premarital abstinence, I think that it is mostly about one’s capacity to respect oneself and have boundaries. I think that modesty is more about making one’s self valuable.
As the example given by Shalit p 209 I have heard a lot of girls expressing regrets to have become sexually active before marriage. But I do believe that the matter is not to have sex before marriage. The matter is: do people have sex because they truly want it or because it is a social pressure? Virginity is no longer perceived as acceptable therefore people engage in sexual relations to conform to the rest of the society. Nobody wants be shown as monster for choosing a more virtuous path. I think that being sexual modest today is more about having clear boundaries about what one considers as correct and acceptable about sexuality and it is also to have a conscious of that it is a serious side of our lives of which we should think about seriously.
yaye

Chapter 11: Pining for Interference

In this chapter, Shalit presents the idea that as a society, we no longer care what other people are doing, in terms of modesty. I can't say that I agree with this statement. I know when I see people making out in a hallway or on the street, I cringe and say to myself get a room. Shalit says "even incest isn't really scandalous anymore"to me this idea is completely absurd (p197). I do not know about other people, but even the thought of that makes me sick. I feel that people do care what others do and are shocked or appaled to see certain things, for instance pda. But it is the fact that society has told us that PDA is what we are 'supposed' to do, and therefore if we feel awekward or uncomfortable we are supposed to hide these feelings and act as if nothing is happening.

-Kristine Jansen

Chapter 10

It is hard to believe that conventional wisdom suggests that those who are modest are running and hiding from sex. It is sad to me to think that if a person doesn't want to have sex than there is something wrong with them. Why should women who want to wait to have sex have to hide it from the world? People shouldn't feel guilty or out of place when they decide to wait. The decline in modesty that has become so real today has changed the way the people of this world view relationships. While one used to have to be ashamed and embarrassed of having sex, people are now becoming ashamed of waiting. A return to modesty may change that.

-Bryan Leonardy

Chapter 9 : Against the curing of womanhood

In this chapter, Shalit denounciates the movment that consists in giving women medecines to enable them to go over their emotions and feelings. Indeed as today we live in very "rational" societies; feelings, emotion and sensitivity occupy a reduce space and are barely allowed to be expressed. In relationship, one has to react scientifically to manage critical situations. Today sensitivity equal weakness and women, as usually, are the weakest sex that needs to be cured of its ability to express sensitivity. For me sensitivity distinguish Human from animals. More than being willing to cure woman sensitivity, it would be better working on men capacity to express feelings. We certainly need to act rational to survive in today global trends. At the same time doesn’t too much rationality leading to a disenchantment of the world?
yaye

Chapter 8: Male Character

Shalit offers the question "what can it mean to be afraid to be a gentleman?" (pg. 144)
I believe that both men and women are afraid of men being gentlemen. Women are afraid to admit that having a door held open for them or a chair pulled out is nice every once in a while. Because women are conditioned to believe that they must do it or risk seeming weak. Men, on the other hand, are afraid to do anythings at the risk of having the chair yanked out of their hands. I believe that it's not sexist to have a guy carry your bags for you or open a door, it's a courtesy. I also think that a women should be able to stand on her own two feet and handle herself in certain situations. Shalit makes a good point with the need to reassert a code of conduct for men and women. Both sexes need to reevaluate how they act towards members of the opposite sex, and adjust accordingly. Society has not so much lost modesty but rather respect. There is a lack of resprect for oneself and members of the opposite sex and once people regain respect for themselves and others. Modesty will won't be too far behind.

Kristine Jansen